How to Set Up a Private Minecraft Server for Your Family

My daughter and I love playing Minecraft together. At some point I decided to set up our own server: custom difficulty, mob griefing off, teleport plugins, saved waypoints. Turns out it is easier than it used to be.

This is everything I figured out, written down before the agents take over and nobody does this by hand anymore.

01. Hardware: Pick Your VPS

You can run this on an old laptop sitting in a closet, but I went with a VPS, a rented slice of a real server in a data center, accessible over the internet 24/7.

What is a VPS?

A VPS is a virtual machine you rent from a hosting provider. You get a fixed amount of CPU, RAM, and storage, full SSH access, and a public IP address. You pay monthly, usually $3-10 for small instances, and it runs whether your home computer is on or not.

For a small family server with 2-3 players and a handful of plugins, you do not need much:

CPU    2 vCores    # enough for chunk loading without lag
RAM    4 GB        # 1G for the OS, 3G for the server
Disk   20 GB SSD   # world data grows slowly
Cost   $3-10/mo    # search "cheap VPS" in your country

Any major provider works: Hetzner, DigitalOcean, Linode, Vultr, and dozens of local options depending on your region. But for a family Minecraft server, I would start with a local provider that has servers physically located in your country. You usually avoid inflated international pricing, and more importantly, you get lower ping. The closer the server is to you physically, the better the game will feel.

02. Operating System

Pick Ubuntu 24.04 LTS when your provider asks for an OS. LTS means Long Term Support: stable updates, no surprises, supported until 2029.

Why Ubuntu and not Windows?

# Ubuntu Server (no GUI)
RAM overhead: ~200 MB
License cost: free
SSH management: native, fast
 
# Windows Server
RAM overhead: ~1.5-2 GB
License cost: often extra
Remote management: RDP (slower, heavier)

For a Minecraft server, paying extra for Windows to waste 2 GB of RAM on a GUI you will never look at makes no sense. Ubuntu 22.04 also works fine if your provider does not have 24.04 yet.

03. Install Java

Connect to your server via SSH. You will find the IP address, username, and password or SSH key in your provider’s control panel or welcome email.

ssh root@YOUR_SERVER_IP

First, update the system:

sudo apt update
sudo apt upgrade -y

Ubuntu’s built-in repositories have older Java versions. Fresh Minecraft and Paper server versions require Java 25, so we will install it from the Adoptium repository.

# Install required utilities
sudo apt install -y wget apt-transport-https gpg
 
# Add the GPG key
wget -qO - https://packages.adoptium.net/artifactory/api/gpg/key/public \
  | gpg --dearmor \
  | sudo tee /etc/apt/keyrings/adoptium.gpg > /dev/null
 
# Add the repository
echo "deb [signed-by=/etc/apt/keyrings/adoptium.gpg] \
  https://packages.adoptium.net/artifactory/deb \
  $(. /etc/os-release && echo "$VERSION_CODENAME") main" \
  | sudo tee /etc/apt/sources.list.d/adoptium.list
 
sudo apt update

Install Java 25:

sudo apt install -y temurin-25-jdk
 
# Verify
java -version

You should see something like openjdk version "25...". If you do, you are good.

04. Choose Your Server Software

There are a few options. Here is the short version:

Software	What it is	Best for
Vanilla	Official Mojang server, no extras	Zero plugins, purist experience
Paper	Optimized fork of Spigot with plugin support	Most cases: fast, stable, supports plugins
Forge	Mod loader, older modpacks	Heavy mods: Create, Technic, and similar
Fabric	Lighter modern mod loader	Newer mods, performance-focused modpacks

I am going with Paper. I used to run Spigot servers years ago. Paper is its successor, faster and better maintained. It handles chunk loading better on limited hardware, and it supports all the quality-of-life plugins we want: teleport, homes, warps. No need for heavy mods.

05. Create a Dedicated Minecraft User

Do not run the server as root. Create a separate user with no login shell, which is standard security practice.

# Create the user
sudo adduser --disabled-password --gecos "" minecraft
 
# Create the server directory
sudo mkdir -p /opt/minecraft/server
sudo chown -R minecraft:minecraft /opt/minecraft
 
# Switch to the minecraft user
sudo su - minecraft
 
# Go to the server folder
cd /opt/minecraft/server

06. Download Paper

Go to papermc.io/downloads/paper, pick your Minecraft version, and copy the download link for the latest build. Then on the server:

wget -O paper.jar "YOUR_PAPER_DOWNLOAD_URL"
 
# Verify the file downloaded
ls -lh
# Should show: paper.jar

For example, this is the link I used:

wget -O paper.jar "https://fill-data.papermc.io/v1/objects/830d4eb5c15cbd802a9ec9f2f54eaaaeb9511958339aec983fd0c88bad21d940/paper-26.1.2-64.jar"

07. First Launch and Accept EULA

Run the server once. It will start, generate some files, then stop and ask you to accept the End User License Agreement.

java -Xms1G -Xmx3G -jar paper.jar nogui

It will stop with a message about EULA. Open the file:

nano eula.txt
 
# Change this line:
eula=false
 
# To this:
eula=true
 
# Save: Ctrl+O, Enter, Ctrl+X

08. Configure server.properties

Open the file:

nano server.properties

Here is what I set for our family server:

max-players=5
server-port=25565
online-mode=true
white-list=false
view-distance=8
simulation-distance=6
difficulty=normal
spawn-protection=0
motd=Family Server - No Griefers Allowed

Useful notes:

online-mode=true          # keep true if everyone has a paid Minecraft account
view-distance=8           # lower = less RAM/CPU
simulation-distance=6
difficulty=normal         # I use "easy"; my daughter dislikes aggressive mobs

online-mode and MOTD

Keep online-mode set to true if everyone has a paid Minecraft account. This verifies player identity with Mojang’s servers. Set it to false only for cracked or offline clients.

motd is the description shown in the server list. Put whatever you want there.

Save with Ctrl+O, Enter, then Ctrl+X.

09. Set Game Rules

If you want players to keep their inventory after death, you can enable that setting. First, temporarily start the server:

java -Xms1G -Xmx3G -jar paper.jar nogui

When the server finishes loading, type this into the console:

gamerule keepInventory true

You can also set:

gamerule doFireTick false

This disables fire spread, which is useful if you want a calmer family server.

If you get an error, try the newer versions of these settings. On later game versions, starting around Minecraft 1.21.11+, the namespaced rules may be required:

gamerule minecraft:keep_inventory true
gamerule minecraft:fire_spread_radius_around_player 0

Another useful rule for a small server:

gamerule minecraft:players_sleeping_percentage 50

This lets the server skip the night if at least half of the players are sleeping.

You can also disable block destruction from creepers while keeping the explosion itself and damage to players:

gamerule mobGriefing false

Or, in newer versions:

gamerule minecraft:mob_griefing false

Important downside of mob_griefing false

mobGriefing false does not only affect creeper damage. It changes several mob interactions with the world:

• creepers do not break blocks
• endermen do not carry blocks
• mobs may interact with the world differently
• villagers and other mobs may have some behavior limitations

For a small family server this is usually fine.

Then stop the server:

stop

10. Install EssentialsX

EssentialsX adds the quality-of-life commands that make a private server actually comfortable: homes, warps, teleport requests, and more.

After the first run, a plugins folder will have appeared. Go there:

cd /opt/minecraft/server/plugins
 
# Get the latest download link from essentialsx.net/downloads
wget -O EssentialsX.jar "YOUR_ESSENTIALSX_URL"
 
# Go back to server root
cd /opt/minecraft/server

EssentialsX will auto-configure itself on next startup. No manual setup needed for basic use.

Commands you will use constantly:

Command	What it does
/sethome	Save your current location
/home	Teleport to your saved home
/tpa playername	Request to teleport to a player
/setwarp name	Save a named location as admin
/warp name	Teleport to a named location
/back	Return to where you were before teleporting

11. Start the Server and Make Yourself Admin

Start:

java -Xms1G -Xmx3G -jar paper.jar nogui

Once running, grant yourself operator/admin permissions from the server console:

op YourMinecraftUsername

Now you can run admin commands in-game. Stop the server again:

stop

12. Set Up Autostart with systemd

We want the server to start automatically when the VPS boots, and restart itself if it crashes. systemd handles this.

Exit the minecraft user first:

exit

Create the service file:

sudo nano /etc/systemd/system/minecraft.service

Paste this content:

[Unit]
Description=Minecraft Paper Server
After=network.target
 
[Service]
User=minecraft
Group=minecraft
WorkingDirectory=/opt/minecraft/server
ExecStart=/usr/bin/java -Xms1G -Xmx3G -jar /opt/minecraft/server/paper.jar nogui
Restart=on-failure
RestartSec=10
 
[Install]
WantedBy=multi-user.target

Save with Ctrl+O, Enter, then Ctrl+X.

Enable and start:

sudo systemctl daemon-reload
sudo systemctl enable minecraft
sudo systemctl start minecraft

Useful systemd commands:

# Check status
sudo systemctl status minecraft
 
# Watch live logs
sudo journalctl -u minecraft -f
# Exit logs: Ctrl+C
 
# Stop / Start / Restart
sudo systemctl stop minecraft
sudo systemctl start minecraft
sudo systemctl restart minecraft

13. Open Port 25565

Configure the UFW firewall:

sudo ufw allow OpenSSH
sudo ufw allow 25565/tcp
sudo ufw enable
 
# Verify
sudo ufw status

Expected output:

22/tcp     ALLOW
25565/tcp  ALLOW

14. Connect to Your Server

In Minecraft Java Edition:

Multiplayer -> Add Server
Server Address: YOUR_SERVER_IP:25565
 
# If using the default port (25565), you can also just type:
YOUR_SERVER_IP

That is it. You are in.

15. Admin Commands Reference

For the console or in-game, with op permissions:

Player Management

/op Nickname
/deop Nickname
/whitelist add Nickname
/ban Nickname
/pardon Nickname
/gamemode creative Nick
/gamemode survival Nick
/time set day
/weather clear
/save-all

EssentialsX

/sethome
/home
/delhome
/spawn
/setspawn
/tpa Nickname
/tpaccept
/setwarp name
/warp name
/delwarp name
/back

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Written by hand, for the record. By the time this is useful to someone, the agents will probably do all of this automatically. But there is something to be said for doing it yourself.